Joining the Ranks of the Unemployed

Recently I joined the ranks of the unemployed so I thought I would take a moment to reflect and blog about it. Hey, now I’ve got the time to blog!

Unlike many in the unemployed ranks, I chose to quit my job. That’s right in this difficult economy I was not fired or laid off; I left my job. Why would I do this crazy thing? The answer is simple. My wife got an internship in Colorado to complete her Doctorate of Psychology. This current state of affairs has forced me to keep a good sense of humor. Yes, I am a great househusband and yes I still wear pants in this relationship (well, so does Nikki most of the time but welcome to the 21^st Century)! But for me and for us this decision was a no brainer. Let me tell you why.

First, my wife’s internship is the last year of a five-year doctoral degree. That is a lot of time and a lot of student loan money. Also, once licensed she has a much greater potential to earn enough money to pay back those loans then I did in my youth ministry position. So for the sanity of my wife and therefore our family and for the economic health of our family it is important to get Nikki through this program sooner rather then later.

Second, applying for and receiving an internship was a year long, competitive process for Nikki and me. Many stressful moments were endured, a few sleepless nights, and many tears were shed during the last year. Due to the competitiveness of the application processes Nikki and I decided that it was necessary to apply all over the country, not just in the Los Angeles area where my job was located. Those seeking internships are only offered one placement, and it would have been foolish to turn it down. This led Nikki to being placed in an internship in Colorado.

Third and last point I want to make about this; many suggested that my wife and I could handle a year living apart. My immediate response to that is that although we could handle it, why would we want to if it is not necessary? Yes, I believe ministry is extremely important but God calls us to serve our family over ministry if the two clash. Therefore I chose my wife over my job and I have no regrets about that.

So here I am, living in Colorado, with no job. I definitely can think of worse places to live! Colorado is beautiful. And being unemployed isn’t terrible yet. Heck, so far it has been a three-week long vacation (I don’t count the first week because we were moving)! And unemployment has given me the opportunity to do some things I’ve been thinking a lot about. I’ve been able to pursue a different sort of student ministry; I am waiting on the approval of my application to substitute teach. I’ve also been able to pursue a relatively new interest of mine, the ethics of food. I have been reading up on food, changing some shopping habits, and preparing some amazing new meals! I might even have the opportunity to work part-time at Whole Foods Market, which would help me learn a lot more in this area of ethical eating/shopping! On top of all that I’ve been running regularly again, Nikki and I have gotten some hiking and camping in, and much more! I have to say, the first month of unemployment has been great.

We shall see how I feel if I reach two months.

Reflections On Change In Presbyterian Church’s (PCUSA) Standards of Ordination

It has been almost a year since I last posted on my blog. I know, I am a pathetic blogger. So what has brought me out of my blogging coma? Well, working for the Presbyterian Church means some big news yesterday in my world. The church has officially changed the rules so that the door will be open to practicing homosexuals to be ordained as Ministers, Elders and Deacons. This internal fight has been raging for forty years and so today I am sure many within the church are rejoicing and many others are in despair. But I am not writing my first blog in a year because I feel the need to stake a claim on either side of this argument, instead I have been thinking about the lack of a middle ground in this entire conversation.

The conversation concerning homosexuality and the church has been set as a black or white issue. On one side I see Christians who are concerned with sinfulness, Godly standards and biblical authority. For these Christians a homosexual lifestyle is sinful and if we begin to allow those living in sin to become our church leaders then we are living outside of biblical standards. A helpful analogy for this group might be saying they wouldn’t be willing to ordain a person who admits they like to get drunk and drive and they do not see anything wrong with that.

On the other side of this issue I see Christians who are concerned with civil rights, inclusiveness and reconciliation. These Christians do not believe that homosexuality is a sin and instead see the gay community as a people group. Therefore when the church does not allow homosexuals to become leaders within the church it is a discrimination issue. Obviously most homosexuals within the Presbyterian Church are in this camp and they see this as a fight for their rights within the church, but also many heterosexuals are in this camp and they see changing the standards for ordination as bringing about reconciliation between the church and a people group that has been discriminated against. Obviously a helpful analogy for this side of the argument is comparing to the civil rights movement or overcoming the historic church’s support for slavery.

I apologize for the oversimplification of both sides of this issue but my point is that like most controversial issues within our society this conversation is an either/or choice. Because of the black or white nature of this conversation neither side can, nor is willing to hear the other side. Instead we have staked our positions and we are going to defend them to the bitter end. What this means for the Presbyterian Church is that, even though the rules have changed, conservatives will either leave the church entirely or set up a conservative wing within the church and live separate within the church. I wish for another option.

Here is where I think we need to start if the two sides are going to start talking to each other again. It starts with both sides of this argument being willing to give something up. Now I know compromise isn’t very popular these days, but when we live in community with other people it is simply a necessity. I am going to start with the conservative side because this is the side I come from (I’ve never been a part of a liberal church). I know evangelicals are all about what they believe but if we are going to become a church that is open to a homosexual human being living amongst us then we simply need to resist the urge to say what we believe every time someone asks. Instead we need to start thinking more about how do we act like Jesus? Now I am not saying we need to compromise on the belief that homosexuality is a sin but I am saying that instead of stating this belief all the time lets instead figure out how to love and serve homosexual individuals and the homosexual community. Jesus calls us to love and serve others and the fact is that the church will never be able to serve and love an individual or community if the church is dehumanizing them.

Now what about the liberal side? This is harder for me to articulate because I am not from this community and I hesitate to suggest how to change to a group I am not really a part. Since I do see myself as an evangelical that is interested in learning how to love and serve homosexual individuals and the gay community I do want to put this out there. In my conversations with gay and straight/liberal family and friends I feel like a litmus test of sorts is placed on me in order for the conversation to continue. In theological conversations I feel I have to say that I do not believe homosexuality is a sin in order to continue the conversation. In conversations not concerned about theology (normal conversations?!) I have to agree that the church discriminates against homosexuals when they are not willing to ordain or marry them. If I am unable to agree to these terms then the conversation is over and there is no way we can live in community together. In order for us to move forward this simply cannot be the case.

Is any of this possible? I hope so and I am going to try and be the change I want to see. For me I am going to pledge to worry less about what I believe and worry more about acting like Jesus by loving and serving others. I know this will be hard because I do enjoy engaging in heated theological and political debates (come on I have a bachelors in political science and a masters in theology!) but sometimes in order for things to change it means I need to learn how to shut up and act instead.

Remembering Where the Well Is

Where I work, both the community and the church are rich in resources. I’m not saying everyone has money coming out of their ears, but financially our church and this community are in a much better position than probably most around the country these days.

Working in a community of wealth has been both a blessing and a curse for a young, first time minister such as myself. I have a job, which is not a given these days. My job is serving God and the church by ministering with teenagers and families, which is the dream. And despite being in the middle of the West Coast culture where the vast majority of people do not care about the church, this is a community that is still open to the church. It is a great place to get my feet wet and I am truly blessed.

On the other hand, the wealth and abundance of resources make it very difficult for people to truly embrace the life revolutionary change Jesus provides and demands. Put simply, when one has everything who needs God? I feel that I am constantly faced with the question; How do we (the church) show this community that there is something better out there then money, power, influence, success, or the American Dream?

This is what I have been struggling with lately. And in the midst of this struggle I found myself reading Jim Belcher’s book Deep Church, and in the section I was reading yesterday Jim talked about how Christ is the Well, that is the center, of their church. Everything their church does focuses on wanting to “provide a cup of living water to a dying world. We want to see others drawn to the source of life (page 89).” This was a powerful reminder to me that everyone, including the most privileged in our country, are dying. And even if we don’t like to admit that we are lost and dying, we are and we are in need of this living water.

U.S. Congress Want Suspected Terrorists To Buy Guns & Explosives! I Don’t Get It!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/06/opinion/06gcollins.html

Congress Up In Arms

By GAIL COLLINS

Published: May 5, 2010

There seems to be a strong sentiment in Congress that the only constitutional right suspected terrorists have is the right to bear arms.

“I think you’re going too far here,” said Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina at a hearing of the Senate Homeland Security Committee on Wednesday. He was speaking in opposition to a bill that would keep people on the F.B.I. terrorist watch list from buying guns and explosives.

Say what?

Yes, if you are on the terrorist watch list, the authorities can keep you from getting on a plane but not from purchasing an AK-47. This makes sense to Congress because, as Graham accurately pointed out, “when the founders sat down and wrote the Constitution, they didn’t consider flying.”

The subject of guns turns Congress into a twilight zone. People who are perfectly happy to let the government wiretap phones go nuts when the government wants to keep track of weapons permits. A guy who stands up in the House and defends the torture of terror suspects will nearly faint with horror at the prospect of depriving someone on the watch list of the right to purchase a pistol.

“We make it so easy for dangerous people to get guns. If it’s the Second Amendment, it doesn’t matter if they’re Osama bin Laden,” said Paul Helmke, the president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.

Graham wanted to make it clear that just because he doesn’t want to stop gun purchases by possible terrorists, that doesn’t mean he’s not tough on terror.

“I am all into national security. … I want to stop reading these guys their Miranda rights,” he said.

The Obama administration has been criticized by many Republicans for having followed the rules about how long you can question a terror suspect before you read him his rights. These objections have been particularly loud since the arrest of Faisal Shahzad in the attempted Times Square bombing. No one seems moved by the fact that Shahzad, after being told that he had the right to remain silent, continued talking incessantly.

“Nobody in their right mind would expect a Marine to read someone caught on the battlefield their rights,” Graham said.

Terror threats make politicians behave somewhat irrationally. But the subject of guns makes them act like a paranoid mother ferret protecting her litter. The National Rifle Association, the fiercest lobby in Washington, grades every member of Congress on how well they toe the N.R.A. line. Lawmakers with heavily rural districts would rather vote to legalize carrying concealed weapons in kindergarten than risk getting less than 100 percent.

The Senate Homeland Security Committee hearing on “Terrorists and Guns: The Nature of the Threat and Proposed Reforms,” concerned a modest bill sponsored by Senator Frank Lautenberg of New Jersey. It would allow the government to stop gun sales to people on the F.B.I. terror watch list the same way it does people who have felony convictions. Because Congress has repeatedly rejected this idea, 1,119 people on the watch list have been able to purchase weapons over the last six years. One of them bought 50 pounds of military grade explosives.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City and his police commissioner, Ray Kelly, dutifully trekked down to Washington to plead for the bill on behalf of the nation’s cities. The only thing they got for their trouble was praise for getting the city through the Times Square incident in one piece. And almost everyone had a good word for the T-shirt vendor who first noticed the suspicious car and raised an alert. Really, if someone had introduced a bill calling for additional T-shirt vendors, it would have sailed through in a heartbeat.

Gun legislation, not so popular.

Lautenberg’s bill has been moldering in committee, and that is not going to change.

“Let me emphasize that none of us wants a terrorist to be able to purchase a gun,” said Senator Susan Collins of Maine, who nevertheless went on to argue against allowing the government to use the terrorist watch list to keep anyone from being able to purchase, um, a gun.

“Some of the people pushing this idea are also pushing the idea of banning handguns,” said Graham, darkly. “I don’t think banning handguns makes me safer.”

The terrorist watch list is huge, and some of the names on it are undoubtedly there in error. The bill would allow anyone denied the right to purchase a firearm an appeal process, but that would deprive the would-be purchaser some precious gun-owning time. Before we subject innocent Americans “to having to go into court and pay the cost of going to court to get their gun rights back, I want to slow down and think about this,” said Graham.

Slow is going to be very slow, and the thinking could go on for decades.

First Reaction From Princeton Forum On Youth Ministry

This last week I traveled all the way across the country to the Princeton Forum on Youth Ministry. What an exciting experience to look forward too! Going to Princeton Seminary, a place I had never been. Get to listen to Shane Claiborne, Kenda Creasy Dean, Mark DeVries, and many others talk about some cutting edge stuff in youth ministry! I was stoked!

I have to admit, I was a little disappointed. I guess overall I would give the conference a B because there were some good things going on. But let me get my complaints off my chest first.

First, I was really excited to hear Shane Claiborne speak because what he is doing with others at The Simple Way in Philadelphia is pretty crazy and amazing. There have been many times since I read Shane’s book The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical that I found myself day dreaming what it might be like to join a new monastic community. Unfortunately Shane was a let down for me. He was a let down only because everything he said was in his book. I have to remind myself to not spend all that money in the future just to see someone speak if they have written a book, it is so much cheaper to drop the $15 on the book! This disappointment was also true for Mark DeVries, everything he said was in his book Sustainable Youth Ministry.

My other major problem with the conference was the extended seminar I took. For three days I took notes in this seminar and I still have no idea what it was about. The seminar was called Greenhouses of Hope and was supposed to be about building young leaders in the church. But the whole time we talked about ethnography – a branch of anthropology dealing with the scientific description of individual cultures. Anyway, a lot of people seemed to dig it, but I wish I had taken something different.

I suppose I have to expect that conferences like this are going to be hit and miss, and to be sure there were some hits too! Like the class called Worship 1.0, where we talked about worship being the heart of all ministry, including youth ministry. And there was Missional Youth Ministry & The School of Rock in which the conversation revolved around how effective youth ministry is no longer like the movie Field of Dreams (If you build it they will come!) but more like the movie School of Rock (invite these kids to embrace their gifts and be part of the rock band!).

Upon initial reflections I would say the greatest thing I took away from this conference is that if we want to have effective ministry for teenagers in the San Marino Community Church  community then the entire culture of the church needs to change. Consistently everything that was said at the conference was that no longer can a church simply send teenagers to a separate space to do their own thing. Instead teenagers need to be invited, welcomed and embraced and empowered by the body of our church congregation. Gulp! Now that will be some tough change to swallow!

My hope is to reflect some more some of the seminars I took at the conference. In my next few posts I am going to try and do just that!

Leading From a Place of Health and Rest

In this time of Lent it seems near impossible to do this and I am struggling to find the balance. I wish more church leaders would take this idea of leading from a place of shalom more seriously.

Role of the Church: Grandparenting In The Next Generation

The current Presbyterian moderator, Bruce Reyes-Chow came to speak at my church recently about the role of social media (ie. blogging, facebook, twitter, etc.) in the life of the Presbyterian Church. It was somewhat of a humorous situation considering I was one of maybe four people under the age of forty at this event. That fact in itself says quit a bit about the Presbyterian Church.

I am definitely not one of the most techie of the under forty crowd, but there was not a lot new for me in the scheduled topic of conversation. At least not in the ‘what’ of new tech tools in social media. What was interesting was the ‘why’ it is important for the church to pay attention and participate in the fluidity of current cultural trends. Most people within the Presbyterian Church (of the United States of America) are aware that the Presbyterian Church is rapidly shrinking. I believe the numbers are something like we had four million members in the 1970’s and now we are down to two million. Unfortunately it just seems that most of the leaders of the church want to burry their head in the sand when it comes to this issue. The typical idea is that young people leave the church when they graduate from high school and come back to the church when they have kids. Well, this just isn’t true, especially on the coasts of this country. Something like ninety percent of high school students loathe the church and wouldn’t dare set foot in a church building. If ninety percent of teenagers are never part of a church and therefore can’t leave it, how can we believe they are coming back?

It was when Rev. Reyes-Chow began to talk about the different roles different generations play within the life of the church congregation that I really felt like he was hitting the nail on the head. He explained that as a member of a church gets older, his or her role should change. He told the story of when he became the pastor of a new church in his late twenties a number of older people took he and his wife under their wings. Now in his forties and being one of the oldest in his current congregation his role has shifted and now he and his wife do their best to take care of the younger congregation members. This is what he called “grandparenting” in the life of the church. Most of us instinctively know that this is how life should exist in any given community. The older generations pass down their stories to the younger generations, teaching them, caring for them, taking pride in seeing them grow. Unfortunately this is not occurring in the life of the church as a whole. There is a disconnect when it comes to the older generations in the church nurturing the younger generations. And Rev. Reyes-Chow blamed this disconnect on the baby boomers.

To be fair, Rev. Reyes-Chow qualified his statement with the fact that this is a sweeping generalization, which it always is when you start talking about generational theories. None-the-less it was something of a shock to hear him blame it all on the boomers. He said that the church cared for the boomers when they were in their twenties and thirties but now, as the generation that leads the church, they still expect to be cared for by the church. They are unwilling to take on the role of grandparenting to the younger generations.

As I mulled this over in my head, trying to determine if I believed this to be true or not I thought of a previous church I worked for. It was an atypical church for the Presbyterian denomination; it used to be well above one thousand members but now is hovering around one hundred. I was the only young person there, and the church was desperate for more young people. Yet it seemed whenever I offered a new idea to others in leadership the response I always got was, “Paul you are young and idealistic, one day you will understand.” That was so frustrating to me! It may be true, I may be young and idealistic but if a church truly cares for younger generations (and wants more to be involved) is that how the church should respond to the only young person in their midst? Our elders should do everything possible to encourage young adults in their midst, not discourage.

I have no idea what this means for the Presbyterian Church as a whole. Clearly the way things are going right now it is not sustainable so this means things will change eventually. Let’s just hope they change quickly enough for “young and idealistic” people like me! I did walk away from this conversation with this idea though: that perhaps it is my role as the Director of Student Ministries to not only work with teenagers but also encourage the older members of the church to embrace their role as ‘grandparents’.

Being Last On a Long List of Priorities

Once I had a conversation with a parent about enrolling his child in my confirmation class. The parent expressed that his child was so overburdened with school, sports, and other extra curricular activities there simply wouldn’t be enough time for his child to attend all the classes for confirmation. I understand.

It is crazy just how much is required of teenagers in the community I serve. What is worse is the powerlessness the students and their parents feel when it comes to all these activities. If a student misses one game, she is kicked off the team. If he doesn’t go to summer school he might not graduate on time. If she misses one play practice she loses to the part. Of course if you are not on the team, don’t graduate on time, lose the part then you will not get into college, will not become financially successful, and won’t have a satisfying life.

Going to church, learning to live by faith barely registers a blip on the college admissions radar, if it all. It is hard to convince teenagers and parents that faith should be on the priority list, much less at the top of it. After all it is not going to get you into an Ivy League school. Most likely you wont make a lot of money off of faith, but if you happen to you will probably want to give it all a way. Jesus talks a lot about denying oneself as his way and let’s be honest, self denial is not the path towards an American understanding of a satisfying life.

What if some of these teenagers became convinced that Jesus’ way is a satisfying life? What if some of these parents thought that if their child fell in love with Jesus then their child’s life would be exponentially more rewarding then financial security, power, or prestige? In the first chapter of the book Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell compares living the way Jesus teaches to that of jumping on a trampoline. The experience of jumping on a trampoline is a joyous one for most people. The exhilaration causes laughter, the desire to jump higher, and the need to invite others to jump with you. Bell tells us “God takes great pleasure in us living as we were made to live (page 35).” And that way is the way of Jesus.

This brings me back to my confirmation class. I’ll be honest, what I am teaching is boring. It does not express the joy of the life that Jesus offers. All it is is doctrine, homework, and discussion questions. There is no joy. It is nothing like jumping on a trampoline. So I have some ideas to change things. I want the class to express just how joyful life is when living the way God intended us. I think this means teaching through the doing of things that expresses awe in the Creator. So I have started a list of new confirmation curriculum ideas. I don’t know how I will connect all of these to curriculum or if I will be able to do some of them, but these are some things that feel like jumping to me.

• Hiking
• Serving communion to shut ins
• Interactive worship services
• Eating a meal together
• Watching a great movie
• Sharing a favorite song
• Serving the poor
• Play in the park
• Art – painting, sculpture, writing, music…
• Sunrise/sunset
• Visit hospital/hospice patient
• Visit inmates
• Express Doubt/Asking Questions – do not answer! Perhaps writing songs, journal, etc….